Instagram Poems for Avoidant Men
Ok but what if I got really into academia
In an alternate universe where I:
stayed at Eugene Lang College of the New School for Social Research
Didn’t drop poetry when my teacher gave me a C for journaling
Got an MFA in Poetic Forms of Superiority and
Became an Instagram-famous poet of pop psychology, known for viral posts like
“Avoidance is not a boundary, it’s just unresolved shame in a hoodie.”
In that universe, I am kind of a huge deal.
[from my hit Instagram post. 450k Likes, 7.8 million shares, 15.9 million screamcries]
[from my even more famouser Instagram post. Shared by Rupi Kaur, Amanda Gorman, and Katie Perry]
[Read onstage by Brene Brown at a TED Talk, shared by Bindi Irwin on BlueSky, turned into a TikTok song by Jack Harlow]
My Interview With Avoidant Studies Review: Peer-reviewed by No One
INTERVIEWER:
Lynn, thank you for sitting down with us. First things first: do you have any formal training in psychology?
LYNN:
I have like 3/4 of a non-terminal degree and 10 years of a show where I give fake therapy.
So yes. Basically.
INTERVIEWER:
Would you describe yourself as an empath?
LYNN:
No, I’d describe myself as a pattern recognition android with a touch of vengeance.
Also, I can tell what attachment style someone has based on their use of punctuation in “haha.”
INTERVIEWER:
Do you think this makes you better than most men?
LYNN:
Not all men. (Pause) Yes.
INTERVIEWER:
What makes your style unique?
LYNN:
I don’t fix people. Or really help them at all. I just say what their therapist can’t because of licensure risk.
INTERVIEWER:
Do you think your poetry helps?
LYNN:
Helps whom?
INTERVIEWER:
Anyone?
LYNN:
Oh, no. Hopefully it hurts someone though.
INTERVIEWER:
And finally—what is your core belief when it comes to healing?
LYNN:
If you’re going to make me your therapist, I am going to publish a chapbook of tweets about it with your hair woven into the spine.
[from my hit Instagram post. 450k Likes, 7.8 million shares, 15.9 million screamcries]
Academic Disclaimer
This collection should not be used to diagnose anyone except people who send “sorry, bad at texting” after 19 days of active Instagram engagement.
While this work draws lightly from attachment theory, trauma psychology, and vibes, it is not meant to offer therapeutic advice.
Any emotional resemblance to real people is completely intentional.